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Product Humorist #117

USB Humping Dog

I think the title and picture say it all.

I have only to add... finally.

Dicktowel.com

Beautiful, brilliant... dicktowels.

Funny product. I believe it is a run-off from a gag on the TV series, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," but I'm not sure who operates it, although the site was mentioned on the show.

Get yours in time for winter vacation to show off on the beach!

Blockbusted!

Meet the King David to Blockbuster's Goliath.

MovieCube, aka the Canadian RedBox, has popped up in Loblaw stores across Canada. (Note Blockbuster's knee-jerk response to make 7000 of these machines in 2010.)

The movies are relatively current, and you pay $1/day for a DVD rental with your credit card, or with the tears of a film industry executive.

While much has been written about the consequences for the beleaguered film industry in the states, there hasn't been much coverage up in Canada. People are too busy acting like the Toronto International Film Festival makes them personally important to realize that this is the sort of machine that will lead to fewer of those coveted distribution deals at the festival.

Some studios have boycotted these machines for fear of ending up like the music industry (see: 1999-2007). This policy has led to antitrust litigation in the land of our fair but litigious neighbo(u)rs. Some studios have made deals with the kiosk/movie rental company -- if you can't beat'em, you might as well join'em... and it's going to be hard to beat an offering of current movies for $1/day against the aggravation of wandering aimlessly through Blockbuster until you find the movie you want, but can only get a rain check for because someone else got there first, so you end up paying $4-5 for your second choice. (Note, the kiosks can also run out of your first choice)

Of course, even the kiosks still have to compete with hulu or surfthechannel or any host of sites or programs that offer the movies for free.

What's the bottom line? Chains like Blockbuster take it on the chin. Mom-and-Pop video rentals adapt to offer a more eclectic selection of films not available in the kiosks. Kiosk companies increase their stature until disc-technology is obsolete and everything is OnDemand.

In Canada, is Loblaw the right channel for distribution? Is it going in Walmarts and McDonald's's and Indigo/Chapters... and gasp... Starbucks?

Rating: Hold

Justification: Can it compete against free content?

Here Come the Son Kings

If you've been living under a rock, Beatles Rockband is set to be released on September 9, 2009. That 09/09/09 for those keeping track (the Beatles have a thing for 9s). This game will attract hordes of new gamers from older generations as Beatlemania continues to rage some 40 years after the group's dissolution.

GET EXCITED

Two people instrumental to the game's development are Dhani Harrison and Giles Martin (L and R, respectively), offspring of George Harrison and George Martin (respectively), respectively guitarist/backup vocal/songwriter and producer.

That's a lot of respect, but hey, it's the Beatles.

The art of the game is something to behold. Take off your pants and have a look at these images

Wow

Score: 100%

Justification: The union of Beatles and Rockband is like, well, the union of Lennon and McCartney

Mitch Lives On!

mitch hedberg on pringles - Watch more Funny Videos

The first joke about Pringles Potato Chips in this video is a well known quip by fans of the late Mitch Hedberg. The target is of course Pringles' tubular packaging that looks not unlike tennis ball packaging.

Exhibit "A"

Exhibit "B"

According to Wikipedia, three tennis balls will fit in the Pringles container.

So there I was standing in Sainsbury's in Edinburgh, a Scottish grocery chain, when I saw these specially packaged Pringles

The only thing they left out was, "Hey Mitch, sorry you're dead, but..."

Would this packaging would be found funny by those unaware of the Hedberg joke? Can the delivery of the joke on the label can match the Hedberg delivery? We may never know.

The funnier thing for Pringles to do would be to make promotional tennis balls, or promotional special edition tennis ball flavored chips. Who else likes the smell of fresh tennis balls? God bless chemicals.

Overall Score: 77%

Justification: Pringles are still a god among chips

The ironing is delicious

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None—the lightbulb has to want to change

Help the environment, screw it in ironically, light it and place it above your head when you think of something brilliant -- it's the light bulb candle.

Currently on sale for $17, seems a little expensive, but you can't put a price on ironic effect.

Overall score: 71%

Justification: We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb." -Thomas Edison

Title a la Bartholomew Jojo Simpson